Flying Free
Cumulus clouds wafted above her head.
They promised a glorious day. Evelyn had wanted to visit Siesta Key for weeks,
but the cold weather had kept her prisoner inside her spacious house. Now, armed
with a beach blanket, a sun hat, sun glasses, cheese and crackers, and a chilled
bottle of Clos du bois Chardonnay, she ventured forth for a fun filled day of
kite flying.
One hour later she parked her red Nissan
convertible and trudged forth with her weighty belongings unto the pristine
sands she loved. Evelyn spread the blanket before taking off her sandals and
long sleeve shirt. The breeze was mild yet the blanket folded in itself till
Evelyn deposited the cooler, hat and kite, placing them strategically to hold
down the blanket. She stood watching sea gulls above the mild surf and breathed
in the salty, delicious air. She licked her dry lips with pleasure and in
anticipation of the calm day ahead. Suddenly, a family of five planted
themselves nearly on top of her blanket.
“Why?” she thought,“why do people insist
on sitting so close when there’s an entire beach to choose from?” She wanted to
experience freedom not congestion, so she picked up her gear and headed further
down the beach where no one, not a soul, rested their blanket on the desolate
sand. She wanted to be alone, to think, and to mull over what had been happening
to her. She needed alone time to get all life’s intricate garbage sorted out in
her head, so she could emerge a different person, wiser and more in tune with
whom she believed she could be. The person who had been mirroring her was some
other person with an attitude unlike hers. Who had she become?
The breeze chilled her. She no longer
felt warmth from the 70 degree weather or from the comforting rays of the sun.
Evelyn would grow cold when she was tired or when she was upset. Today, she was
both. She slipped on her shirt once again and hugged herself for warmth. “Thank
God I wore jeans. If not I would probably have to pick my stuff up and go home,”
she thought with a sense of despair.
She knelt on the blanket and began
to arrange the wine bottle, the wine glass, and the cheese and crackers on the
cooler tabletop. “This should warm me up,” she thought as she poured a glass of
wine. Evelyn took a few pieces of cheese before taking a sip of wine. It tickled
her throat and a nice tingle lingered on her tongue, but the best part of all
was the immediate sense of tranquility she felt. “Ah, life is
a beach, or is it life is a bitch?”she spoke to the wind, knowing it would not
come back to haunt her. “Life is a bitch, and I’m not sure I even know why.” So
much of her life was beginning to annoy her. Her house was too big, too grand.
Her husband was too good, too docile; she wanted the strong and confident man
back. Where had he gone? Since his retirement, he was passive and reconciled to
a simple lifestyle. Evelyn didn’t even recognize his personality anymore. She
was annoyed with her mundane existence of work, home, exercise, more work, and
then sleep. The next morning started the cycle all over again. “What’s wrong
with me?” she asked, “I have everything a woman, wife, and mother could possibly
want, yet here I am miserable.”
Evelyn jumped when she heard a clear and
distinct voice coming from somewhere within the recesses of her mind, say, “You
need change. You’re bored. That’s all it is.”
“I’m bored? How can I possibly be bored
when I’m so active? I never stop!”
“True,” the voice continued, “but you do
the same things day in day out.”
“Yeah, so what do you
suggest?”
“Well, let’s see. You love the water,
yet you hardly go to the beach by yourself. You depend on others to take you or
be with you. Go by yourself for goodness sake and stop playing the
victim.”
“I’m here today, aren’t I?” Evelyn was
beginning to get upset with this inner voice that was reprimanding her as though
it were her mother or son, for he too believed she should stop her whining and
get over it. She un-wrapped her kite from its casing, assembled it and then
embellished it with colorful ribbon she had taken from her sewing basket. “I’m
going to fly my kite; in the meantime, you just shut up.” She took another sip
of wine, finishing off her second glass.
“Great, just great!” Evelyn realized
others had joined her little desert island, “Can’t people just leave me the hell
alone,” she thought. Evelyn walked several yards, so she could have more room to
fly the simple yellow kite with the rainbow ribbons. She worked the rope and
ran, lifting her arms, motioning the kite to fly high into the sky, but it
dragged on the sand, making a stream of convoluted shapes. Others were
experiencing great heights and long air time with their masterpieces of dragons,
butterflies, and eagles, not Evelyn. Her kite lay lifeless on the sand. It
drooped and flopped dead even when she tried with all her might to give it speed
and wind.
“Dam kite won’t even try to fly,” she
groaned. She removed the colorful ribbons, thinking perhaps that would change
the outcome, but to no avail. She tried over a dozen times to elevate her kite,
but it refused to budge from its funereal ground.
Kite flyers watched her in dismay, yet
no one attempted to ask her if she needed help. “I’ll be dammed if I ask anyone
for help.” Tears began to well up, “No, I’m not going to cry,” she said,
determined not to let this day become another failure.
Her head buzzed from her frustration and
from the amount of wine she had drunk. Evelyn poised her kite above the cooler
and then lay down. Several hours later, she awoke to the most beautiful sunset
she had ever seen.
The sun was half of the way into the
horizon, and all around was this lavender, orange glow of twilight. A smile
formed as she sat amazed at nature’s wonder and at her own foolishness. All the
kites were gone and Evelyn was alone on her little stretch of beach. She reached
for her kite and began running toward the lighthouse in the distance. She didn’t
look back, so she didn’t see that her simple yellow kite was flying ever so
high. When she did look back, she began to laugh at its unnatural height and the
freedom with which it flew. And then, just as it was about to touch the edge of
the sunset, without thinking twice, she let it go.